Google Cr-48 Safety Notices

I just received my Cr-48 in mail, and as per usual Google products, this one is not free from dry humor. The safety notices were no exception and were funny enough to share:

This product contains sensitive components. Do not drop, disassemble, open, crush, bend, bake, deform, puncture, blend (guess we’ll never know if it’ll blend), shred, incinerate, paint, bring to the moon, or insert foreign objects in to the device. Do not spill liquids, rocks of any size, or food on the device. Do not expose the device to water, moisture, or rap music.

This product contains small parts, which may present a chocking hazard to small children, as well as men who have not emotionally matured. Keep the device and accessories away from small children, regardless of how much whey want to bang on the keyboard.

When you perform repetitive activities such as typing or playing games on the device, you may experience occasional discomfort in your hands, arms, shoulders, neck, or other parts of your body. Take frequent breaks and if you have discomfort during or after us, stop use and see a physician. We’d make jokes here, but we really want you to look after yourselves.

This product odes not contain any user-serviceable parts. Repairs should only be made by an authorized technician. Note that authorized technicians do not necessarily include your neighborhood 15 year old brainiac that you call anytime you get an antivirus pop-up on your computer (note: you shouldn’t see antivirus pop-ups on this device anyway). As cool as laptop ground effects are, unauthorized repairs or modifications could result in permanent damage to the equipment, and void your warranty and your authority to operate this device under applicable regulations.

Battery: this device includes a lithium-ion battery, as that whole cold fusion thing hasn’t been figured out yet. There is a risk of explosion, fire and burns if the battery is handled improperly. Don’t do anything silly with the battery. Don’t puncture, incinerate, short the contacts, try to disassemble the battery, or expose the battery to water or high temperatures (>60 degrees C/140 degrees F). We already said not to bake the device, but apparently we needed to repeat ourselves. Replace only with the specified replacement battery. Recycle or dispose of used batteries according to local regulations.

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